Hooks, fasteners, clamps – Most of us have these running out our ears while holiday decorating. Except for that key moment when you’re perched on the ladder in a sure-to-be-on-You-Tube precarious position, needing one last clamp to hold that strand of lights just…there.
Fortunately, when you’re safely on the ground, hooks, fasteners and clamps should be within easy reach. Wire hooks can be bent to fit over/around nipples, clits, fingers, phalluses. Clips can be used as nipple or ball clamps. Those plastic doohickeys that are pushed under the eaves to hold strands of lights are soft enough not to be painful, but compress tender areas in a nice way. Be creative, yes, but no, do NOT use ornament hooks for spontaneous piercings – you may be the victim of a justified Christmas homicide.
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