Robbins, Anthony - Motivational Speaker and Author
By: Dominick A. Miserandino
Motivational Guru Anthony Robbins goes over his coaching techniques and theories, and explains why people put themselves in bad states, and how to get out of them.
DM) Do you ever have a bad day where you aren't as productive as you'd like to be?
AR) (Laughs) That's the most commonly asked question anybody ever asks me! They usually say something a little bit more direct like, "Come on, you can't be UP all of the time?!? Don't you get depressed? Even on the weekends, where you grow your beard, read Penthouse, and eat cheetos?"
Honestly, I have times where I get frustrated, or I feel a bit overwhelmed, or whatever the case may be, but I just don't stay there. Those are normal human emotions, and you certainly experience them. They used to be the dominant force in my life, and now they're pretty rare. And when they happen, I just don't live in that place. That's really my message for people. I think all human emotions are valuable--disappointment is a valuable emotion if it's invested--but painful emotions are destined to call us out, to find something within us we're not using. To try to ignore them, to sit and dwell with them can be disastrous. I try to find the message, use it, and move on.
DM) I'd imagine for most people it's common to be in one of those states...
AR) I don't think I'd be B.S.ing you to say it's not a common occurrence for me; and the reason is, it's like an athlete. Your nervous system is something you train. You can train yourself to be fat, or frustrated, or depressed--or you can train yourself to be certain, hopeful, committed, dedicated, or loving--whatever the case may be. You've probably had people who laugh all the time--they even laugh at the dumb jokes--but that person has conditioned their nervous system to find the humor in things. I've conditioned myself to find out how to utilize whatever life tends to bring me. That's like an athlete. It's my life--although it wasn't my life until I chose to operate it that way.
One of the reasons I entered this as a business is I went to a seminar by a man named Jim Rohn, and I remember listening and saying, "Everything this guy is teaching you: if you lived it, your life would be extraordinary." So I thought the best way to live it was to be in that life in that business, so you'd have to live it. My life was focused on it, so it was the dominant experience in my life.
DM) Is there that much of a similarity between training yourself mentally as you would physically?
AR) That's exactly what I'm talking about--in fact, you can't separate the two. The mind and the body are totally related. If I'm going to help anybody, whether it's a child or an athlete, the first thing I do with everybody is put them in a peak state of mind. We all have states of mind where you say something; and then after you've said it you think, "I can't believe I said that. That was so stupid. That was so dumb." Then we have other times where afterwards we say, "Wow, I like it. I don't know how I did it, but I like it."
Well, it's not based on ability, but it's based on the state you're in. The state you're in is directly related to the way you use your physiology, your body. If you take somebody who's depressed, and you look at their body, they always have similar physiology: Their head and shoulders are down. Their breathing is shallow. They talk slowly, they don't punctuate their words, and their voice trails off. If you take that same person and stand them up, put their shoulders back, and talk to them with an explosive breath, you will have them talking quicker, they will start to punctuate their words or their gestures, and you will see an instant change in their biochemistry.
It's not just the way they feel in the moment; it's knowing the triggers in the body that will put the person in that state. That's why when people work out, they tend to be in a much stronger emotional state, which they will become physically as well. That's why the two cannot be separated.
DM) How long does such a process take then?
AR) Well, you can do something in a matter of seconds and change somebody in a moment. I was just dealing recently with a woman who was on Prozac and two other anti-depressants. She's maxed out on medications; the doctor had told her she just has to adjust, but she's still depressed. The ultimate change can happen in your body. The best drugs in the world are inside your body. You can change in a matter of seconds.
There was a study done at Harvard University, where they took people and didn't give them placebos--they gave them Barbituates instead, but told them they were amphetamines in a convincing manner. The people's bodies sped up (even though the drugs were telling them to slow down) and the same effect happened in the other direction.
What we can create is instantaneous. Now if you want lasting change and not just a spark, you've got to build that into your physiology. How fast can that be? It depends on the individual. It's something you can build enormous momentum on in a weekend if you do it day and night. That's what I do in a live seminar. It can take you 21 days, or three months, or six months if you do it once a week, or once an hour.
People often say, "How long does it take to get good at something?" I always tell them, "How long do you want it to take?" If you do it once a month, maybe it will take you twelve months; if you do it once a week, maybe it will take you four weeks. If you do it a couple of times a day, maybe it will take you two weeks. If you do it all day long, you can do it in two or three days and anchor it in.
That's why in seminars, it's a total immersion, a day and night immersion. People discover what it is that they want, what's stopping then, what's preventing them, and most importantly, they discover how to turn themselves on to produce that result right away.
That's one of the reasons I use the fire walk. You get somebody in front of a fire, and they don't know how confident are. When they are in front of 2,000-degree fire, they get an emotional state change. The ability to instantly change your state of mind, so that you're absolutely certain and get yourself to take action in that moment when everything in your body is freaking out--it's what it's all about. It's being in the emotional state to get yourself to step through anything you're afraid of, and storm through it. People can use it for the rest of their lives. And they come to that end and condition their body, so they can use it at will.
DM) Why do you think people get stuck in these negative states at times? Wouldn't it be natural for the body to want to be in a more natural state?
AR) No, here's the truth. Your body chemistry, way of life, and way of breathing will reflect your emotional states. We live in a society that doesn't exactly encourage us to be in the fittest state physically, mentally, or emotionally. Closer to none of the above.
Here's another reason: If you said to me, "Tony, how's your life in the last three or four years?" And I say, "Oh my g-d, it's been the most incredible time of my life. My oldest son has his own business now; he's doing incredibly well. My daughter is an actress who's done all of these different shows. My youngest one started a business. My other boy is just going into college; he's a straight A student. I'm the happiest I've ever been; I'm traveling around the world. I'm advising some of the greatest leaders of the world in politics, business and sports. Oh, and by the way, I took my company public, and I made $400 million dollars last year." You'd think under your breath, "Who does this guy think he is?"
But if I responded, "I have four kids. It's a battle that never ends. It doesn't matter where they are; they're still your kids. I have eight companies...no matter what I do, there's a demand on me constantly. I decided to get divorced three years ago, and it's the toughest thing in your life...I got married when I was 17. Nobody's happy when you make a decision like this." Your reaction would be to go, "Hey buddy, I know how you feel," and hug me.
We are a culture that rewards people for pain and failure with attention; and initially we reward people for success, but then our favorite thing is to jab them back down. If they are so successful, and we don't feel we are, we begin to feel insignificant. So to gain our significance, there's two ways to do it: build the tallest building in town; or burn it down, or blow up everybody else's buildings.
September 11th shows you don't have to have much intelligence, background, or education to be able to feel like your insignificant. That's how people operate. In our culture, we tend to give pain to people who succeed if they appreciate their successes, and we give pleasure to people as they fail. And that rewards people to be there. It also takes the risk of facing your greatest fear--the greatest fear everybody has is they're not enough, and they won't be loved.
Well, the goal for us in life requires the fear of failure. If you fail, you're going to feel like you're rejected, you're not enough, and you won't be loved. People feel like they're worthless, and they won't be loved. These are unconscious fears in everybody, so it's much easier to have a big reason why you can't do something. It's easier to claim it's not your fault than it is to acknowledge you're gutless and don't want to put something on the line.
In our culture, you're seen as naïve. I don't believe in positive thinking. I don't think you should go to your garden and start chanting, "There's no weeds...there's no weeds." There are weeds there, and they're going to take your garden. But I also don't believe you should come up with this illusion or this escape hatch of "I'm skeptical or I'm pessimistic." Most who say they're skeptical or pessimistic are really gutless because they don't want to get their hopes up...they don't want to be disappointed. They don't want to look naïve or fail.
I believe, "See it as it is." No worse than it is, but just as it is, so you have a reason to try or make it better. Just see it as it really is. And secondly, you've got to see it better than it is because without a vision, people perish. Once you have that vision, you've got to make the vision a reality by action on a consistent basis.
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